The Definitive Ranking of June Squibb’s T-Shirts in Hubie Halloween

Cody R.

Source: Netflix

When ‘Hubie Halloween’ hit Netflix it was assumed that all the buzz would center around Adam Sandler and his particular brand of nonsense. We’ve seen it over and over again with films like ‘Big Daddy,’ ‘Waterboy’ and ‘Billy Madison.’ Whether you enjoy this type of comedy or not is irrelevant, the only things that matter are June Squibb’s t-shirts. These novelty shirts warranted an additional half a star rating to some from reviews I have seen on Letterboxd. To show my appreciation I have decided to personally rank them from worst to best:

Source: Netflix

​6. If You Can Read This You’re in the Fart Range

This one is very straight forward. June Squibb is courteous enough to provide you fair warning. You could say that he who smelt it, having not dealt it, would only have himself to blame. A little chuckle, but this is more of a dad t-shirt, and even if I do have more of a dad bod, I am not there yet.​

Source: Netflix

5. Muff’s Diving School

I’m not saying a classroom education, or anything else for that matter, is more important, but what I am saying is that everyone has needs. So if you are in the business of learning how to go down longer than this may be the school for you. Proceed with caution because just like the tests are nothing like the homework. All those looking for said needs met don’t blatantly wear t-shirts like this one from June Squibb.

Source: Netflix

4. Kayaking Gets Me Wet

​Some days, the rapids are really flowing and you are just eager to grab that kayak and show the river whose boss. That alone would probably get you wet if you are an adventure junky. I am not, but if I ever did find myself in a kayak someday, rest assured that I will indeed get wet. This t-shirt however has a double meaning and one could argue is open to interpretation as to what gets you wet.

Source: Netflix

3. I’d Hit That

​June Squibb is that sweet old lady you overhear saying,“I’d Hit That,” as a college hunk walks by. It catches you completely off guard, but you actually can’t help but laugh because you know the older you get the fewer shits you give and the more you speak your truth. If anyone finds themselves in June Squibb’s shoes, heck, shoot your shot.

: 2. I Shaved My Balls for This? (Pictured at Top)

​There is no denying that manscaping is a thing these days. But we also know things don’t go according to plan. Heck, they rarely ever do. That is why when I go about my day, especially during these difficult times, I am hit with the feels of what this shirt is telling me. Really, what is the point and why do I always shave my balls for a total let down?

Source: Netflix

1. Boner Donor

It is no Boner that I have ranked this #1 on the list. Squibb’s misunderstanding of the term makes what may be the funniest scene in the film. Something tells me there are those out there more willing to donate boners than blood. I am at least willing to bet the t-shirt sales are high for this sort of thing. Just remember this, you don’t need any t-shirt to be in a giving mood for whatever the cause may be. ​

If any tickled your fancy, June Squibb’s t-shirts are available for purchase on many online shopping markets. Trust me, I have looked. Just in case you now feel inclined to get them for yourself or a special someone. And if you’re still in need of convincing then check out ‘Hubie Halloween’ on Netflix to see them on full display.

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Cody is a cohost of the Spinning the Reel podcast and contributor to SpinningTheReel.com. You can follow him on Twitter @Djr0te